The beauty in pain is real. Pain is a very real, raw emotion that takes time to fully understand. It is the soul’s way of telling us that we need to start over, change and re-ignite our hearts. Because of my pain, I have more beauty and wholeness in my life now than I ever imagined being able to possess.
I credit it to my experiences and my surrender to my Higher Power, which to me is God.
My pain began at the age of 12. A family member suffered from severe mental illness which was later diagnosed as bi-polar disorder.
I grew up feeling fear that stemmed from their drastic mood swings that went from the highs of a euphoric “I love the world!” to the lows of “I am going to scream, yell, and break everything in sight!” I remember that during the worst of it, my parents were even afraid. Imagine being a child and the two people whom you look to for protection can’t even control the situation.
The worst night was when I saw my father get pushed down half a flight of stairs. I watched, hopeless and petrified. From that day on, my childhood was gone. To endure this household I was taught to be a good girl and be quiet. Stay in your room, do not be the cause of the mood swings, and do not express your emotions. My world was silent on the inside and exhausting on the outside.
Finally, at the age of 20, I was able to go off to college and get an education. I felt free.
But freedom was very scary at first."
Continue on Brenda's journey with her as she discovers her power to choose happiness and follow her dreams while also embracing more of her power and truth.